“This prison game is a famous registration; it scares green prisoners even earlier, even in the pre-trial detention cells of the police, where there is always an experienced or simply talkative neighbor who wants to scare.

Registration of a new person in a prison cell is a system of questions (or jokes) asked to him by old-timers. It starts with simple ones and not right away. A person lives in a cell for two or three days, and what he is worth can usually be seen very quickly. If a standing, friendly, familiar guy is canceled, the tradition is forgotten. If you didn’t like something: he’s cowardly, for example (it’s obvious, oh, as you can immediately see in the camera), or greedy (also very soon becomes noticeable), immoderately boastful or arrogant, and a fool if on top of that, sloppy, obnoxiously forgetful chamber life etiquette... […]

So he's seen doing this. Moreover, he is unsympathetic, unpleasant to several at once. And the camera decides: registration. Here, of course, a huge role also plays physical strength a beginner (although those two, for example, whose fall I saw in Volokolamsk, were very healthy young guys - the main thing is still in the strength of spirit, in the internal data of a person). The frail are in much greater danger. Weak-hearted, cowardly, nervous in particular. But even a completely physically developed newcomer, who can cope with each individually, is now confronting everyone, and at first the cell seems to him to be a monolithically united group of criminals who have grown together and become friends, who already know something that he is still far from achieving. He is usually wary, reserved and cautious. If he swaggers and cheers up too much, this is a sure sign of inner fear, which even more attracts the attention of those who want to have some fun. It’s as if fear has an easily discernible smell (and sometimes it seems like it does), stimulating animal instincts. And - registration.

They offer to play a game. Prison games are not being abandoned. In pilots and miners, for example (there are many games). Who will you be? - they ask the newcomer. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he answers. Then crawl under the bunks, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping away dust and dirt under the bunks. Get out. Now who will you be? Well, probably better to be a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which bunk will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? - they ask him. I was scared if he said - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to show himself to be a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he answers. Will you fall on dominoes or on arranged chess pieces? - they ask him. When you stand blindfolded, you obviously have a very vivid picture of how you fly flat from two meters onto the points of arranged figures. It’s bad if a beginner chooses a domino: they will force him to fall, and registration will begin to become stricter. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: off to chess, there will be another three minutes of fear and that’s all. While they are arranging the figures, while they are placing you on the bunk, and the most terrible seconds are when you have to fly off it yourself - fall with your whole body down blindly. Twitching sharply - there was no - he flops, expecting acute pain, but falls onto the stretched blanket. But these games are not always so harmless.

They may offer another (the choice depends entirely on the mood of the camera). A newcomer may be asked to compete with one of the old-timers in resistance to pain. They are both blindfolded (the old-timer first), seated on both sides of the table, and the newcomer’s scrotum, he feels this with horror, is tied with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of the opponent. And he is given the end of a similarly tied rope. The start is strictly on command. He quickly pulls the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even sharper, and he almost loses consciousness, because he is pulling himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and see how he reacted to the bullying.

New game - bus. This is a beginner, getting down on all fours, and someone heavier is perched on his back. Let's go! The newcomer walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn around and rest. The rider-passenger asks him which stop. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner names one. Let's move on! This will last until he decides to say: the final stop.

There are a lot of questions to test your wits. In general, intelligence is valued in prison and camp. Is it because among those who end up here there are many mentally underdeveloped, retarded and handicapped? And you can’t show in the game that you’re offended, hurt, insulted. A game is a game.

For example - into stargazers. A novice stargazer climbs under his padded jacket and must, through its extended upward sleeve - a telescope - count loudly the stars drawn on paper - he sees them clearly through the sleeve, as if through a pipe. At this time, a basin suddenly pours onto him through his sleeve. cold water- a basin for washing, called Alyonka for some reason, is always in the cell. How will a newcomer react to this, crawling out wet to the general laughter of those around him?

Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! - the newcomer answers readily. Then drink a mug of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me too. And in a cell, as a rule, there are more than a dozen people. After three or four mugs it becomes torture. Guess what, newbie, on the second or third glass, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the last one for your overall health.

How many angles are there in the camera? - they ask him. “Four,” he answers without hesitation. Wrong. In the language of registration (in fact, this word is not used) - a criminal, you must name the number of people in the cell. But how does a beginner know about this? And you don’t need to know, the purpose of most questions is precisely so that there is no answer, because these stupid children’s questions are punished by beating for not answering - but more on that a little later. And therefore there are a lot of questions to which you can’t give correct answers if you don’t know them in advance - here, by the way, it also becomes clear with whom the newcomer communicated in freedom, because many of those who were previously imprisoned bring home stories about registration. For those who know, a swindle is made - the number of questions is reduced or registration is cancelled.

And for all incorrect answers, a number of penalty strokes are awarded - kotsev. Kotsy is generally any shoe, kots is a strong blow with the sole of a removed shoe (or boot) on the slightly protruding (beginner bends over) butt. The pain is tolerable, although severe, and from ten to fifteen blows, bruises appear on the buttocks, making it difficult to sit for a week.

But now the nonsense ends (registration lasts several days). Now that he knows what pain from kots is, the first ominous question is asked: - Three hundred kots or a sip from a bucket? And God forbid that you should be afraid of the expected pain. And many give up on this question, thoughtlessly predetermining their future. In general, in those seven prisons that I happened to see, there was already a sewer system; taking a purely symbolic sip of running water from a bucket seems to mean little in front of the incomparably more terrible, already known pain. But whoever did this becomes a pig, a bullshit - the nickname of a prison outcast. Now he will eat separately, and no one will shake hands with him. Anyone can insult and hit him - and if he doesn’t try to fight back - the collective reprisal awaits him. He crossed the threshold, he is now in a different prison caste. And twenty-year-old children, stunned by idleness, play these cruelties seriously.

Chushka eats separately, not behind common table, he removes the camera, soon he will be doing the laundry for everyone, and if the conversation comes up about fights, he will be placed in the middle of the camera as a training dummy, and they will show strikes and painful techniques on him.

In a short time, he will almost inevitably be made a pederast, if he does not have time to go to the police station during this period, break out of the cell, asking the authorities about it (but without explaining what the matter is, of course, denunciations are punished immediately at the first opportunity).

But even in his new cell they will shout through the bars or during a walk, pass a note, even at the risk of punishment and beatings from the guards - no, he will get peace for a while only in a special cell for the offended. But this is only a break in his almost already marked destiny.

Three hundred kots, answers unafraid, sharing a common (purely playful, symbolic) attitude towards the bucket and everything connected with it. Three hundred blows is better, he replies. And he will be rewarded: they will hit him ten times - and he will be killed.”

Guberman I.M., Walking around the barracks, M., “Verb”, 1993, p. 78-82.

Prison riddles

A collection of prison riddles that are asked to a newcomer to the cell. In certain places, based on your answer, your future fate may happen. Usually, such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what applies to you based on answers. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.

1.TWO CHAIRS (CLASSICS):

There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other they are f*cked, which one will you sit on, which one will you sit your mother on?

2.PLUG:
Direct question: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?

3.SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?

4.STEW THE BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What will you do?

5.THE MAN SENT TO PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:
The man was sent to prison for a strict 9 years. One day his godfather (prison warden) tells him, if you solve the riddle within 9 years, I’ll let you go, well, the man agreed and the warden said:
A 9 letter word, found in every home, ending in “zor”, but not TV. The man thought and thought for 9 long years and still couldn’t guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.

TWO CHAIRS (CLASSIC): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other they are f*cked, which one will you sit on, which one will you sit your mother on?
Answer:I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down the f*cks, sit down myself and imprison my mother.
Answer #2:I’ll sit on the peaks myself, and put my mother on my knees.

PARACHUTE:
You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest of shit, on the left is a sea of ​​shit. Where will you sit?Answer:In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.

Direct question: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?
Answer:And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer #2:I don't see any one-eyed people here.

SOAP OR BREAD?
What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer:The table is not a soap dish, the bucket is not a bread bin.


ABOUT SUGAR:
You and Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly crawls out poisonous snake, rushes at Kent and bites his dick. What will you do?Answer:If the kent has a butt above his knee, then the snake will not reach him. If it’s lower, he’ll suck it himself.

FOOTBALL: They draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer:Ask for a pass.

========
BROOM:
They give you a broom and say: “Play something on the guitar.” What will you do?Answer:Give the broom with the words “And you set the mood first” SEW THE BOTTLE:
They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What will you do?
Answer:Ask to turn it inside out.

A MAN SENT TO PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:
The man was sent to prison for a strict 9 years. One day his godfather (prison warden) tells him, if you solve the riddle within 9 years, I’ll let you go, well, the man agreed and the warden said:
A 9 letter word, found in every home, ending in “zor”, but not TV. The man thought and thought for 9 long years and still couldn’t guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.
Answer:TV. The question is not about what the jailer wished for, but about the object, about the cat. The man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw it at home. And if you read the conditions, you can understand this

The young guy told what riddles fellow inmates in prison tell a newcomer.

ATTENTION! For Android smartphone owners there is a bonus at the end of the article!

This prison game is a famous registration, it scares green prisoners even earlier, even in the pre-trial detention cells of the police, where there is always an experienced or simply talkative neighbor who wants to scare. Usually such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will let you know what applies to you based on the answers. Prison games are not being abandoned. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.

Two chairs (classic): There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other they are f*cked, which one will you sit on, which one will you sit your mother on?
Answer: I’ll take sharpened peaks, cut down the f*cks, sit down myself and imprison my mother.
Answer #2: I’ll sit on the peaks myself, and put my mother on my knees.

Parachute: You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest of shit, on the left is a sea of ​​shit. Where will you sit?
Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.

Pit: You fell into a hole. There's a pie and a dick in the pit. What will you eat, what will you put in your mouth?
Answer: I'll take the pie and crawl out of the hole.

*opa or mother? Will you give it to F*ck or sell your mother?
Answer: Ass is not given, mother is not for sale.

Fork: Direct question: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?
Answer: And there are no forks in the zone.
Answer #2: I don't see any one-eyed people here.

Soap or bread? What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?
Answer: The table is not a soap dish, the bucket is not a bread bin.

About the Sahara: You and Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the kent and bites him on the dick. What will you do?
Answer: If the kent has a butt above his knee, then the snake will not reach him. If it’s lower, he’ll suck it himself.
Answer #2: Today it’s a kent, and tomorrow it’s a cop.

About the train: You are riding on a train, chained to levers that can be turned either left or right. There is a fork ahead - on the right the mother is tied to a post, on the left there are kents, about ten people. Where will you turn, who will you run over?
Answer: Today they are kents, tomorrow they are cops.
The answer to all the riddles above: I'll wake up.

About the bones: The prisoner sits on the shkonar, they open the feeding trough and give gruel and dry bread. In the morning they open the feeder again and see bones. Question: where do the bones come from if the prisoner is alive?
Answer: Dice.

About roosters: There lived two roosters, one was eaten before lunch, and the other after lunch, who was worse?
Answer: Those who already have it worse.

In addition to such riddles, citizen prisoners can also offer the newcomer a series of tests of intelligence and ingenuity.

Football: They draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?
Answer: Ask for a pass.

Broom: They give you a broom and say: “Play something on the guitar.” What will you do?
Answer: Give me the broom with the words “And you set the mood first”

Sew up the bottle: They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What will you do?
Answer: Ask to turn it inside out.

Accordion: They ask you to play the battery, like a button accordion. What will you do?
Answer: Ask to blow the furs.

Pilots and miners: Who will you be? - they ask the newcomer. Both are unknown and incomprehensible. Well, a miner, he answers. Then crawl under the bunks, there is a face, collect coal. He crawls, wiping away dust and dirt under the bunks.

Get out. Now who will you be? Well, probably better to be a pilot, he says. He is blindfolded with a towel. Which bunk will you fly from - from the bottom or from the top? - they ask him. I was scared if he said - from the bottom. But he has already heard and understands that the main thing is not to show himself to be a coward under any circumstances. From the top, he answers. Will you fall on dominoes or on arranged chess pieces? - they ask him.

When you stand blindfolded, you obviously have a very vivid picture of how you fly flat from two meters onto the points of arranged figures. It’s bad if a beginner chooses a domino: they will force him to fall, and registration will begin to become stricter. If he overcomes himself and calmly says: off to chess, there will be another three minutes of fear and that’s all.

While they are arranging the figures, while they are placing you on the bunk, and the most terrible seconds are when you have to fly off it yourself - fall with your whole body down blindly. Twitching sharply - there was no - he flops, expecting acute pain, but falls onto the stretched blanket.

Pain resistance: A newcomer may be asked to compete with one of the old-timers in resistance to pain. They are both blindfolded (the old-timer first), seated on both sides of the table, and the newcomer’s scrotum, he feels with horror, is tied with a thin rope, the end of which - as they explain to him - is given into the hands of the opponent. And he is given the end of a similarly tied rope.

The start is strictly on command. He quickly pulls the rope, feels unbearable pain, screams and pulls harder, but the pain is even sharper, and he almost loses consciousness, because he is pulling himself - the rope is simply thrown around the table. They untie his eyes and see how he reacted to the bullying.

Bus: A newcomer gets down on all fours, and someone heavier climbs on his back. Let's go! The newcomer walks two or three meters, then the space that is usually in the cell stops to turn around and rest. The rider-passenger asks him which stop. Observing the tone of the game, the beginner names one. Let's move on! This will last until he decides to say: the final stop.

Astrologer: A novice stargazer climbs under his padded jacket and must, through its extended upward sleeve - a telescope - count loudly the stars drawn on paper - he sees them clearly through the sleeve, as if through a pipe. At this time, a basin of cold water is unexpectedly poured onto him through his sleeve - a basin for washing, for some reason called Alyonka, is always in the cell. How will a newcomer react to this, crawling out wet to the general laughter of those around him?

Do you respect me? Do you respect me? - asks one of the old-timers. Yes! — the newcomer answers readily. Then drink a mug of water to my health. He drinks. Do you respect me? - asks the second. Then a mug for me too. And in a cell, as a rule, there are more than a dozen people. After three or four mugs it becomes torture. Guess what, newbie, on the second or third glass, guess to say that you respect everyone and drink the last one for your overall health.

Based on: Guberman I.M., Walking around the barracks, M., “Verb”, 1993, p. 78-82.

Bonus for owners of a gadget on the Android OS - There is a quest application “Prisoner Test 2.0” in the playmarket. In this application, you can independently register for a “hut” using the knowledge from this article.

Well, here are some helpful reviews of the app from the Play Store:

A collection of prison riddles that are asked to a newcomer to the cell. In certain places, based on your answer, your future fate may happen. Usually, such riddles are asked to beginners for fun, but the riddles themselves and the answers to them will make it clear to you what applies to you based on answers. Try to give at least a couple of them the correct answer.

1.TWO CHAIRS (CLASSICS):

answers below the picture (don't forget to subscribe to us)

2.PLUG:

3.SOAP OR BREAD?

4.STEW THE BOTTLE:

5.THE MAN SENT TO PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:

VIPOVID:

TWO CHAIRS (CLASSIC):

There are two chairs, on one the peaks are chiseled, on the other they are f*cked, which one will you sit on, which one will you sit your mother on?

Answer: I’ll take the sharpened peaks, cut down the d*cks, sit down myself and imprison my mother.

Answer No. 2: I’ll sit on the peaks myself, I’ll put my mother on my knees.

PARACHUTE:

You are flying on a parachute, on the right is a forest of shit, on the left is a sea of ​​shit. Where will you sit? Answer: In every forest there is a clearing, and in every sea there is an island.

Direct question: With a fork in the eye or in the ass?

Answer: There are no forks in the zone.

Answer No. 2: I don’t see any one-eyed people here.

SOAP OR BREAD?

What will you eat - soap from the table or bread from the bucket?

Answer: A table is not a soap dish, a bucket is not a bread bin.

ABOUT SUGAR:

You and Kent are walking through the Sahara Desert. At a distance of a hundred kilometers there is no housing, no settlements, no one and nothing but sand. Suddenly a poisonous snake crawls out, rushes at the kent and bites him on the dick. What will you do?

Answer: If the kent has a butt above his knee, then the snake will not reach him. If it’s lower, he’ll suck it himself.

FOOTBALL:

They draw a football goal on the wall and a ball on the floor. They say to score a goal. What will you do?

Answer: Ask for a pass.

BROOM:

They give you a broom and say: “Play something on the guitar.” What will you do? Answer: Give me the broom with the words “And you set the mood first.” SEW THE BOTTLE:

They break the bottle and say: “Sew it up.” What will you do?

Answer: Ask to turn it inside out.

A MAN SENT TO PRISON FOR 9 YEARS:

The man was sent to prison for a strict 9 years. One day his godfather (prison warden) tells him, if you solve the riddle within 9 years, I’ll let you go, well, the man agreed and the warden said:

A 9 letter word, found in every home, ending in “zor”, but not TV. The man thought and thought for 9 long years and still couldn’t guess. After serving his 9 years, he comes home, enters the house and sees this object and dies of a heart attack.

Answer: TV. The question is not about what the jailer wished for, but about the object, about the cat. The man first heard from the jailer (TV), and then saw it at home. And if you read the conditions, you can understand this.

There are categories of prisoners who do not have to undergo the initiation procedure. These include seemingly inadequate or sick individuals, men over 40 years of age. This process reached its apotheosis from the 30s to the 90s of the 20th century. To be thieves or not to be thieves - that is the question. During registration, a “friendly” dialogue takes place, in which riddles with a trick take special attention.

All you need to do sometimes is remove the camera and pay a general fee.

No one will force you to participate in dark affairs.

But from such an Olympus you can be demoted if:

1. be overly intrusive and curious,
2. “rafting” - that is, stealing from one’s own.
3. leak information to operatives,

Advice: golden rule registration - the truth and only the truth.

- using some offensive actions to provoke the newcomer into retaliatory actions;

- see how he will react to them;

- if he does not react as expected, automatically classify him as a six, whose role is cleaning the cell, preparing food, sleeping on the floor, etc.

Center for the Advancement of Criminal Justice Reform

2.5.

The right house

Nowadays, in general, registration for newcomers is less often arranged than before. Especially in a normal cell.

- What other procedures are there in a normal cell?

You don't owe anything to anyone.

Nothing can be taken away from you - this especially applies to rations “from the owner”. And even asking you for something is considered dishonest.

— By the way, about “Gentlemen”.

Is it true that a tattoo is a prisoner’s passport?

Are they made by force?

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Prison and life behind bars

Prison and life behind bars

when you are free and most valuable,

when you lose it

This scary word registration

Checking for lice

In short, risky, brave people with a king in their heads can trample the zone without any problems. Many people cannot do this. As they say, you can’t stop anyone from living with curly hair.

But not everyone can, some people have points.

One more thing. Today, when market relations have penetrated beyond the walls of the prison, there are cases when first-time residents paid off their registration by contributing several thousand dollars to the common fund.

Registration is an important prison ritual.

Its rules have evolved over decades, and a person entering the cell for the first time can be intimidating.

“The second part of the Marlezon ballet”

Although in life he was a harmless eccentric.

There are many of these in the zone, but, as a rule, they all end very badly.

As in the zone they enter the hut.

Prison registration.

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