A comic horoscope for guests of the hero of the day. Funny horoscopes for the New Year holiday

We have all heard about predictions. It is known that such work is carried out by people who are, to one degree or another, connected with various forces that are still incomprehensible and unknown to man. Predictions were in demand always and everywhere, in all countries and in the most different eras. Of course, in modern world predictions play a huge role, since there are few people who do not want to look into the future. Even the most ardent skeptics sometimes secretly want to know what awaits them next in life. However, predictions are now acquiring not only a strict character, but also their humorous form. And that’s why you can increasingly see comic predictions.

Comic predictions - what are they?

How do cheerful predictions differ from their more strict form? Initially, it is important to note that such predictions can be voiced for different purposes. Many people get tired of reading boring and strict predictions for the day, month, year. I want to defuse the situation, read something funny, but instructive. And therefore, ordinary predictions sometimes turn into a comic form. It can be just humor, a cartoon, and sometimes there is real black humor. While reading funny predictions, you can have a good laugh and take note of a few warnings that will help you avoid various problems in the near future. In addition, when reading comic predictions, the harsh reality is easier to perceive, and it becomes easier to look at life. Whether to believe such predictions is, of course, up to each person. But it would be useful to take warnings into account.

Where are funny predictions used?

However, comic predictions do not always have a strict basis. They can also be used simply to lift your spirits. A person who adopts them is able to quickly become the life of the party and become known as an enviable joker. You can use them in the office at work, at a party with friends, in general, anywhere, the main thing is that they are appropriate. Naturally, such a prediction does not need to be taken on faith; it is intended only for entertainment. However, there are also frequent cases when even funny predictions, invented for laughter, came true. So even with them you should be careful. Also cool and funny predictions often used at holidays and celebrations. These could be birthdays, anniversaries, corporate and home holidays.

At what events are comic predictions most often used?

The first events where fun but instructive predictions originated were weddings. It's rare to see a wedding where guests don't dress up as gypsies on the second day. And what is a gypsy without predictions? In order to raise the festive spirit among those present and simply amuse passers-by, the gypsy in a comic form pronounces predictions to the bride and groom, and then to everyone present. Afterwards, funny predictions began to be used on other holidays. The hero of the day is always wished many years life, health, happiness. Everyone knows this and is accustomed to it. But a humorous prediction, uttered at the height of the holiday, in which humor is mixed with wishes for happiness and longevity, can ignite it with new strength, make the guests laugh and please the hero of the day. Often funny predictions are used at children's parties. Of course, their shape should correspond to the children's theme.

Cool predictions form

Comic predictions are used in various forms. If they are pronounced during a feast or wedding, then it is more interesting to use a poetic form. Thus, at the same time, a prediction can become an excellent toast. Also funny prediction often becomes part of a game or entertainment. There are many table games in which you can playfully guess who a person was in a past life, of course, with the same comic result. If cool predictions are carried out at children's parties, then this usually creates a feeling of mystery. You can even hold a costume masquerade for a similar purpose. Children interested in a riddle always accept jokes with pleasure.

In general, comic predictions can be used anytime, anywhere. The main thing is that it is appropriate, otherwise the joke simply won’t work.

Comic predictions in verse in one line

1. The day was bright and bright, like a sweet gift.
2. A trip to the sea awaits you soon.
3. Let a tear of joy flow, soon your old friend will return!
4. Down with both anger and revenge, you will receive good news.
5. Wait for the sunset, wait for the dawn, wait for a sweet greeting.
6. Every day and every hour someone thinks about you.
7. Look ahead more cheerfully, wealth awaits you there.
8. Wait a little, the road is waiting for you.
9. Gingerbread and sweets, there will be a lot of joy.
10. Holidays and fun await you at the end of the week.
11. Suddenly you will have a new friend.
12. Wait without crying, luck will come to you.
13. The sun is back and happiness is back - you will meet new love.
14. Expect success at work by next Saturday.
15. You will always have delicious food in your house.
16. Try to vacation in the Bahamas six times a year and then you will certainly, certainly, probably be lucky.
17. If you lie down naked on ice for a long time in winter, no harmful microbe will crawl into you.
18. Someone will be lucky again in the coming year, maybe you or a neighbor - you must always be prepared.
19. Changes await you at the beginning of January, prepare for them gradually - don’t waste your time.
20. Try to run carefully at night in icy conditions, and then you will quite possibly celebrate the New Year.

Funny predictions

1. When giving your beloved a bouquet of daisies, count all the petals. Must be: loves!
2. When expecting a bad event, do not twist the button: it will definitely come off.
3. You are lucky! Therefore, be more modest and do not grab more lucky tickets.
4. When crossing the road, look around - there is a chance of meeting your destiny.
5. Approach your boss with the right foot - and a promotion awaits you.
6. Always smile! And no one will call you a gloomy person. Keep quiet! And no one will call you a bore.
7. Your life is an endless road, so choose a reliable means of transportation along it - a car.
8. Today is the best day for you! Just like everyone else!
9. Buy a book that you don't like at all - and you will find the answers to all your questions.
10. During the first week after the New Year, a pleasant surprise awaits you.
11. When leaving the entrance of your house, turn your head to the right. The brand of the car standing there will soon appear in yours too.
12. If your neighbors knock on the battery today, then a fun and unforgettable New Year awaits you.
13. In the New Year you will win a million dollars, but then you will give it all to charity.
14. In the New Year, you will be able to get rid of your bad habit, but you will acquire a couple of new ones.
15. In the New Year you will be given the most desired gift - goldfish. True, it will be stuffed with rice and herbs.
16. In the New Year, you will learn and discover a lot of new and useful things, but now please open a bottle of champagne.
17. In the New Year, you will have the pleasure of spending a lot of money, as well as the pleasure of earning it.
18. In the New Year, you will get yourself a new pet, and give the old one to a nursing home.
19. If on June 1 you wear your clothes inside out, then many people of the opposite sex will pay attention to you. Maybe you will find love!
20. If you come across a foreign body in bread, know that this is good luck!

Astrological comic predictions

1. The stars are favorable to you. However, you should not catch them in a bowl of salad, otherwise the powerful influence of Mars may contribute to prophetic dreams under the table.
2. Venus in the second house foretells a hearty dinner with excesses and moderate physical activity on the dance floor.
3. Ritual dancing on the table is contraindicated for your zodiac sign, otherwise an unpleasant meeting in a government house is possible.
4. People of your sign are smiling, cheerful, talkative, funny... hey, dear, aren't you drinking too much champagne?
5. Abuse of shouts of “Happy New Year!” is fraught with throat diseases; "Happy New Year!" should be pronounced with just your lips, rolling your eyes meditatively.
6. The stars are not located in the best possible way: The most susceptible to rhythmic twitching will be the knee, hand, elbow and hip joints.
7. Your patron planet Mercury foreshadows an unexpected turn of events after your toast to love.
9. WITH today you are under the auspices of the planet Venus, which will present you with new unexpected love.
10. This night the stars are positioned in the sky so that everything you have dreamed of getting for so long is shining for you.

New Year Wishes

1. Good luck, happiness, peace to you! You will have your own apartment!
2. I wish you to save the style! You will have a car!
3. Luck will not leave you! There will be a new dacha for you!
4. A toast to your health! There will be career growth for you!
5. I wish you good luck! A new addition to your family is waiting for you!
6. Surround you with comfort! And your income will increase!
7. Let success follow! You are the best to study!
8. There are many different impressions! On wonderful journeys!
9. Don't let worry bother you! A new job is waiting for you!
10. I wish you not to be bored in vain, There will be new friends!

We will get today's weather forecast for our anniversary and birthday by easily redoing it in the restaurant from the previous article.

You just need to take it and make the necessary amendments - I’ll write now what to remove and what to add. But most of the text will remain unchanged.

For now, let’s assume that the anniversary also takes place in a restaurant or cafe. If I’m at home, I’ll write it below.

Weather forecast for anniversaries and birthdays.

• Instead of Denis Korablev, insert the name of the person who voices the forecast.
• The storms from the kidnapping of the bride are replaced with “... associated with preparations for the anniversary (birthday) have calmed down - we are all here, the holiday is underway in full swing, and the hero of the day (birthday boy) can already completely relax. The weather has settled above his table...”
• The text does not change further until the weather forecast for the morning. There you remove the line about the newlyweds and insert a phrase about the main person of the celebration: “The hero of the day will not be pressed anywhere, because he will really want to eat. As long-term observations of weather forecasters show, birthday people and anniversaries are always the hungriest people at their own holiday. At first they don’t eat out of excitement, then because everything has already been eaten by others.”
• “But those…” and then about the legs, dancing until the final phrase.

If the anniversary is at home, weather forecast

change it a little too:

• At the beginning, instead of a restaurant, say “at our house.”
• If guests are sitting at the same table, then remove the words “tables” and simply talk about people - children, youth, etc.
• The hurricane will not come from the restaurant management, but “from the neighbors if they hear loud music after 23.00. and stumble over ours empty bottles, secretly left by one of the guests on the landing. The music will be turned off along with the outlet, the remaining alcohol will be taken away, and you will have to run to the grocery store on duty to get it - if we have time.”
• Replace the external patio with that real place where guests go out to smoke or breathe - balcony, courtyard, staircase, gazebo, etc.
• Call the place where the dances are held an impromptu dance floor, and the text will fit.
• If dancing is not provided, you can say the following instead: “Those guests who moved little today and drank a lot may be slightly stormy on the way home. The sidewalk will sway, the walls of the houses will stagger, and you will move with the gait of a sailor. If you already feel like there is a force 9 storm in the room, the Hydrometeorological Center strongly recommends taking a companion or calling a taxi.”
• Then end the forecast with wishes for good weather.

I also say goodbye to you for a short time - exactly until the “Weather forecast with an environmental bias”.

And while waiting, I advise you to look at two school weather forecasts in the sections “Skits...” and “Holiday at school.”

And, as always, I am glad to receive your feedback in the comments below the article - DO NOT be lazy, please write!

Wishing you only wonderful forecasts for your anniversary and birthday,

Your Evelina Shesternenko.

Each holiday is good and interesting in its own way. But usually at any holiday it all comes down to the fact that almost 99% of the attention is paid to the hero of the occasion: the hero of the day or the newlyweds or the birthday boy. What about the guests? They came to have fun and have fun! We haven't forgotten about them, and have prepared an interesting game block: a comic astrological forecast for guests at the anniversary. This forecast can be presented in different ways. The most obvious option is for an astrologer to come out and read out his forecast for each guest or zodiac sign. A gypsy can also come out, but here questions arise - where is the gypsy so smart that she understands astrology? Therefore, a gypsy would not be very appropriate in such a block. The third option is to read the astrological forecast by the presenter himself. This is in case it is not possible to make a scene with changing clothes. There may be other options, but they are not so obvious. How to display this number is up to you. Below we will provide you with several comic forecasts, which you can use for anniversaries.

Comic horoscope 1.
The first version of the comic horoscope is written by the guests themselves. Everything here is quite simple, but interesting. Everyone knows a game called missing adjectives. And in this game we will skip the names of the guests. You need to come up with a forecast that does not include names. Then, at the celebration, you ask the hero of the day to take turns calling out the names of all the guests who are present at the celebration. And enter the names into the forecast one by one. Next, read out what happened.
Example of a letter with guest names missing:

“Today (the date of the anniversary, the stars predict for us a great festive evening! It will end differently for everyone, but everyone will be happy. At 19 o’clock Jupiter will eclipse the sun and at this time (guest’s name) will go to rest under the table. Two minutes later, when the sun will emerge from under the shadow of Jupiter (guest's name) and join the vacationer under the table.
At 19.25 the moon will appear in the sky. At that very moment (guest's name) with the words - I'm going to sleep! – falls face first into a plate of salad. When it appears in the sky Ursa Minor, then (guest's name) will begin to look for a warm place to rest and will find it on the large and cozy chest of (guest's name).
As soon as the clock strikes 20 o'clock, a musical break will begin. And (guest's name) will be the first to go out onto the dance floor and show a master class. After his dance (name of guest) shouting - Bravo! – will run onto the stage and perform a wild dance with elements of striptease. When (guest's name) sees this, he will scream - oh my God! This is the best thing I've seen in my life!
In twenty minutes. When the big bear appears in the sky, the dancing guests will calm down and sit down in their seats. At the same time (guest's name) will shout loudly - I demand the continuation of the banquet! - He will drink a glass of vodka and carefully lay his head on the table, as if on a pillow.
The evening will end with all the stars appearing in the sky, and under their influence (guest’s name) and (guest’s name) will sing a duet song - Mom Luda, come on, come on, come on! And the rest of the guests will film them on their phones to show the clip tomorrow morning and make fun of them!”

Here's an option you can try. You can change the text or come up with your own. It is important to remember here that all people are different, and if you know that someone might be offended, then it is better not to include their name in the forecast.

Comic forecast 2.
The following forecast is for guests the morning after the holiday. This forecast is called the hangover forecast!

And so, dear guests! Just a moment of attention. Today we all go out and have fun. But none of you thinks about the consequences, doesn’t think about what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning. But our astrologer already knows everything, and will tell you what will happen to each of you tomorrow morning.
Aries - the morning will start very badly for you. Approaching the mirror, you will see that your rounded horns have straightened and are preventing you from going through the doors.
Taurus – you shouldn’t think that if you drank activated charcoal before the holiday, then everything will be fine. You will see this coal again, and you will understand that everything is very bad.
Gemini – don’t be surprised, but in the morning you will wake up with a person who is exactly like you!
Cancers - and you will learn to quickly crawl backwards from each glass, remembering this evening and your screams - pour it, drink it!
Leos - in the morning you will make such a roar that your neighbors will each bring you bottles of cold mineral water.
Virgos – don’t go to the mirror in the morning. Otherwise, you risk not recognizing yourself and fainting out of fear.
Libra - tomorrow morning will begin with you weighing and figuring out how much a normal person can drink, and how much you drank.
Scorpio – as soon as you wake up, you will immediately have a hangover. Otherwise, you will sting everyone with your sting all day long.
Sagittarius – it’s better to leave money in advance for tomorrow. Otherwise, you will shoot them at passers-by because they have a hangover.
Capricorns - a surprise awaits you in the morning - you will have new horns.
Aquarius - in the morning you will have guests who will want to continue the banquet with you.
Pisces - and you will be ashamed of this evening and your behavior. All tomorrow you will be silent, like a fish.

Horoscope 3.
And this horoscope is the shortest in the world! But this makes it even funnier and the guests will definitely like it. And so, let's look:

Horoscope 4.
And this is a rather bold horoscope, it is erotic! But nevertheless, it’s funny and the guests will like it. So that this horoscope goes off with a bang. Do this:
- name your zodiac sign and guests under this sign come to you. Romantic music turns on, they dance, and then you read out the horoscope:

Horoscope 5.
And another horoscope - alcoholic!
The same can be done in a special way. You name the zodiac sign and the guests under that sign stand up. They pour glasses and you read out their horoscope, after which these guests drink. It turns out interesting and funny:
Dear visitor! We recommend that you register on the site in order to be able to download hidden material for free. Registration is simple and will not take you more than a minute. After registering on the site, absolutely all sections will open to you, and you will be able to download material that is not available to unregistered users!

An original alternative greeting card can become a comic astrological forecast. My friend and I prepared such a horoscope for our colleague. You can come up with the text of the horoscope yourself or find a suitable one on the Internet. It goes without saying that the forecast should be 100% positive.

We went this way - we found a yearly horoscope for the corresponding zodiac sign, slightly shortened it, embellished it and added our comments in brackets.

Forecast text:

Astrological forecast for 2013
adapted by the best astrologers (company name) (highlighted in color)
especially for (full name)

General characteristics:
Zodiac sign - Pisces
Lucky days - Monday, Thursday, Friday (and also Tuesday, Wednesday, Saturday
and Sunday)
Talisman - narcissist (as well as a volleyball, tablet, camera and
Excel reference)

Forecast for 2013:
The Year of the Black Snake will be very successful for Pisces (especially for those who
born March XX).
Pisces horoscope 2013 says that you will be accompanied by grandiose
events, and the world will know about your desires (possibly even secret and indecent :).
The whole Universe will help you make all your dreams come true (dream within
civil and criminal codes of Ukraine).
In summer your level financial situation will rise (during this period
don't forget about your friends and colleagues). Major acquisitions await you
(and this will definitely need to be washed, see previous comment).
Pisces have always been distinguished by their dreaminess, as well as romance.
(especially when they drink). Love horoscope this year is special for you
favorable (all your teenage and teenage dreams come true).
It is very important that you like yourself. If you, for example,
If you want to get rid of a couple of unnecessary kilos, then don’t skip
volleyball training, and give your share of sweets to your colleagues -
representatives of the fair sex.
IN family life a pleasant surprise awaits you (50% that it is a girl).
Many Pisces will discover their talents and will also engage in
self-development (foreign language courses).
For Pisces, the year will be busy and certainly will not give
reasons for boredom (like your colleagues).

(Name), happy birthday!!!

Sincerely, team of astrologers (company name)

To prepare the gift, I used Photoshop. I printed the resulting forecast on matte A3 paper.

The astrological forecast has been hanging on the wall near our colleague’s workplace for about six months now.

And here is the text of the forecast that was prepared for the teacher (see article). It can also be used when preparing a birthday gift:

The stars foretell success in all your endeavors. Health will please you more than ever, and good mood You are guaranteed for a long time. In your personal life, a new round of events or a refreshing of old relationships is possible.

On October 5, expect pleasant surprises that will delight and warm your soul, and for the New Year - major acquisitions.

This period will be truly fertile for you. Prosperity, peace and love await you at home, and obedient and diligent students at work.

"October 5" in this case, you need to replace it with the date of birth, and "obedient and diligent students"(unless, of course, you are congratulating a teacher or lecturer) for something else, such as: success, promotion, recognition, etc. depending on the situation.

Free download (psd file for Photoshop)

P.S. Jokes aside, our colleague, to whom we gave a comic horoscope, recently had a boy, on which we congratulate him! 🙂 So, we are already thinking about whether we should open our own little business for making good forecasts?! 🙂 🙂 🙂 If anyone needs it, please contact us!

Did you like this article? Don't be greedy - share the link with your friends by clicking on one of the buttons below :)

You can use any materials posted on, but when reprinting link required!

Horoscopes drawn up in a playful way will help diversify family holidays and corporate events. With such entertainment you can give a good mood to everyone present and make a “good forecast” for the coming year.

It so happened that modern man very superstitious. In pursuit of a good life, prosperity, respected position and family happiness, he often relies on the “will of the stars” and magic. And that's not bad at all!

By psychologically setting yourself up for good changes in, it is quite possible to achieve victories in everyday life! The main thing is to believe and make efforts. A comic horoscope, unlike a regular one, is drawn up in a humorous form.

Such an astrological forecast can be in prose or written in verse. Poems, by the way, are more easily and positively perceived by people at an event, at any feast and at any holiday.

Feature of the humorous - gently hint about the shortcomings of a certain zodiac sign and “generously predict” good changes in the coming or coming year. Such “instruction” will definitely make every guest present smile and leave him with pleasant memories.

IMPORTANT: A comic horoscope, as a rule, is compiled on the basis of a real one, created by astrologers. But it is written more in clear language, in simple words and added with wishes.

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Aries men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

As they say, Aries is “still a ram.” And there is a share in this undeniable truth! Next year, Aries will be faced with a number of unpredictable situations that could confuse the “curly” ones. Be careful, don’t lean your horns into difficulties and try to overcome them! Being too stubborn is unlikely to help you achieve your desired goals. In the year of the Rat, Aries should relax a little and let the situation go, as they say, “with the flow.” This will allow you not only to relax, but to organize any business in such a way that it ends to your benefit!

For women:

If the Aries man is a “ram”, then the woman is a “baroness”. And this is not just a play on words! In the new year 2020, sheep women will be especially attractive and irresistible. Many of them will gain " women's happiness", thanks to the tenacity and fury with which they will strive to achieve what they want. Also, if you have Aries women, there are some acting skills, the horoscope wishes you to pretend to be stupid from time to time for the same good purposes!

In verse:

Aries is a sign of “stubbornness” and arrogance,
Every little thing pisses them off!
To make life “sweet”
Drink without reserve on this holiday!

Aries need a lot of space
So that the house is not crowded,
On the robot, in the garage
And of course in the shower!

Aries celebrates the New Year
With an open soul:
Let the “barn” be full,
There are oats and grass in the bins!

Horoscope wishes for Aries
Be calmer and more gentle
So that the soul is calm,
Life would be more fun!

Happy New Year for Aries
He will definitely come to the house,
A new broom of bad weather
It will sweep it up and carry it away!

Comic New Year's horoscope 2020 for Aries women and men: poems

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Taurus men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new year, Taurus, like stubborn Aries, should“relax and slow down” a little. It is excessive tension and the desire to help everyone, everywhere and always, that destroys restless “bulls” and “chicks”, preventing them from getting the desired maximum from life. In the year of the Rat, Taurus will be especially vulnerable to difficulties and problems arising both on the love and professional fronts. In order for any outcome of the case to be positive and kind, do not hesitate to ask for help from loved ones. At the moment when life “shows a red rag” to Taurus, they should not accelerate and run towards a bright color, but close their eyes tightly and simply let “things take their course.” And without you, Taurus, others will figure it out just fine!

For women:

Taurus women need to be in the new year be especially careful with words spoken and emotions expressed. The fact is that the year of the Rat will allow the ladies of this Zodiac to be, so to speak, excited and not very mentally balanced. To avoid problems in relationships and at work, you need to “keep in check” your attacks of jealousy, rage and the desire to help everyone!

In verse:

Calm and peace to Taurus
I wish you a good horoscope,
So that life is easy and beautiful,
The problems “didn’t lead to death.”

More Taurus this year
The horoscope wishes you well,
So that there is a Porsche under the window,
So that there is a lump of dough under the mattress!

To Taurus on this New Year
Love and inspiration will come,
Fate will bring good luck,
Calm, peace!

Taurus is strong and powerful,
And into the new year our horoscope
Wishes only a better life,
May you be incredibly lucky!

In the New Year's horoscope
And Taurus has a prediction:
Those who are single and free,
They will find recognition in love!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Gemini men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Gemini is a special sign. Gathered in this sign put together several best qualities person: curiosity, prudence, wisdom, thirst for knowledge and development. Along with this, in the new year 2020 they should protect themselves from talkativeness, boasting and boringness. The horoscope advises Gemini to read, write, think more, but not speak out loud, otherwise the sign risks losing a number of important people in life. If you can’t talk about a new event, talk to the mirror or write!

For women:

There will be no Gemini for women in 2020 some special emotional outbursts, changes and fateful events. The Year of the Rat promises to be “fun” and full of pleasant little things: a new fur coat, a ring, a meeting with an old friend, who has also gained a lot over the past few years. Just live, as they say, “for yourself” and please your loved ones. Avoid gossip, and “bite your tongue” yourself if you want to retell the news you heard!

In verse:

Gemini, you are nonsense,
Refrain from sin!
Be quieter and wiser
To make life kinder!

The horoscope wishes you
Good-natured Geminis,
Eat a lot, listen more,
Don't talk about trifles!

New Year for Gemini:
Dear ladies and men,
Promises to be good.
Clap your hands loudly!

So that there is a lot of happiness,
Gemini is dear in the year
This one will be without barriers,
No problems, adversities, losses!

May Gemini this year
Having fun and frolicking.
May fate bring them
Lots of joy and happiness!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Cancer men and women for the new year 2019-2020

For men:

For Cancer men, the Year of the Rat promises small, but very pleasant changes in life. Firstly, this is wealth, it will “flow into your hands” slowly but very confidently. Secondly, you risk meeting “your soulmate” in this world, if you haven’t already. “Crawl out of your shell” more often, don’t be afraid to communicate with people, don’t close yourself off from your loved ones, and 2020 will be a very interesting year!

For women:

Cancer women will finally have a chance in 2020 feel needed, important, loved. The main thing is not to lose calm, self-confidence and harmony between soul and body. Speaking about the body, it is worth noting that in the year of the Rat, Cancers will experience incredible emotional uplift and any illness, as well as depression, will not “catch on” and ruin your mood.

In verse:

Cancers, you're in luck!
This year is a happy one for you!
The horoscope wishes you,
To be desired and beautiful!

In this year, Cancers need to know in general:
Wealth is not hidden in chests or money.
Wealth hides in the soul, in family, in friends,
They will help you at the right time and won’t let you get lost!

Cancers will have incredible luck in 2020!
They will find peace, wealth and love.
They will meet happiness along the way many times!
There will be plenty of joy, food and wine!

Cancers can have fun
Sing loudly, joke, dance.
Happiness rushes towards them in the New Year,
To hug everyone!

Happy holiday, Cancer!
The New Year promises you everything:
Lots of happiness and reasons to cry
Only from joy and trifles!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Leo men and women for the new year 2019-2020

For men:

Male lions inspire fear by their very appearance and respect for all other zodiac signs. They have the same attitude towards life: they let someone close, they “sharpen their claws” about others. The New Year 2020 for Leo will be very successful and lucky. The Year of the Rat will completely obey Leo and bring him many pleasant emotions!

For women:

Women-Lionesses, like men, will have luck in literally everything in 2020: they will rise “ career ladder”, will meet a worthy man, gain health and be incredibly attractive. The Year of the Rat will bring “fatal pussies” a lot of profit, both in terms of “prey” and a new fur coat, boots, beads and earrings!

In verse:

2020 will be an easy year
It will be bright and happy!
He will bring health to the lions,
Inspiration and strength!

Leos will be pleasantly surprised
A successful year is coming for them!
In it they will “get drunk with happiness”
“Luck will come to their house.”

Fate promises all Leos and Lionesses
Good luck getting drunk this year
“Catch a star”, have luck,
And all victories without exception!

To lions, as rulers of the world,
The year wishes to be happy!
So that the house is full,
So that there is peace in your soul!

Horoscope wishes for Lionesses
To be real queens
And Leos have great wealth,
May life be simple and “smooth”!

Predictions for Leo

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Virgo men and women for the new year 2019-2020

For men:

As you know, Virgo men are real “narcissists”. That is why in 2020, the horoscope predicts many difficulties for them, primarily with the fact that they are not able to “understand and love their neighbor.” The Year of the Rat promises to be not easy, and in order to achieve the desired results, Virgo will have to, as they say, “press on the gas” and make every effort.

For women:

Virgo women will feel like real queens in 2020! Of course, all the grace will not just fall from the sky on them and in order to please yourself with excellent results in the professional or personal sphere, you will need hard work and faith in yourself. Virgos should also begin to limit themselves in everything in 2019-2020: candy, gentlemen, spoken words. This will help you gain respect and recognition from others.

In verse:

Horoscope wishes for Virgos
Big and small victories!
Enter the New Year with confidence,
He will protect you from harm!

Seductive virgin beauties
The New Year will bring only joy!
Let life be the way you like it,
It will turn into sweetness for you!

To the wise and beautiful Virgos
New Year wishes boldly
Be successful in everything
And there was no reason for the troubles!

Virgos - zodiac sign,
New Year wishes you happiness!
So that goodness surrounds,
So that love does not disappear!

Smile wider, Virgos,
You are the happiest in the world!
There is no more beautiful person in this world
And throughout our entire planet!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Libra men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new year 2020, Gemini men should devote time not only for self-development, but also for your appearance. Therefore, do not hesitate to get a membership to the gym, spa area or sauna. Being beautiful is not a sin! In addition, try to always be closer to your family, do not hesitate to be boring and intrusive, just show your interest in what is happening.

For women:

In the year of the Rat, women of the Libra sign will “fly in the clouds.” That is why they will often not be on time always and everywhere. In order for your affairs to go well and end with the desired outcome, you should stock up on perseverance and constantly “slap yourself on the cheeks” in order to return to reality. In the New Year, be sure to devote a lot of time to your beauty and health, and take care of your loved ones.

In verse:

Smile, all men,
If there is a Libra nearby.
These women are beautiful
A dream come true!

New Year will give Libra
There are many reasons to be happy.
He will leave it under the Christmas tree
Gifts, kisses and hugs!

Huge adventures for Libra
Will add a new year to life,
So that there are no disappointments,
He will bring you good luck!

The stars have now decided:
In the new fabulous year
Libra will receive strength as a gift,
Warmth, love, family comfort!

Libra has big changes
The likelihood of them is so high
All the best will happen without a doubt
Life will be bright and easy!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Scorpio men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Scorpio men will have to really try keep your thoughts and emotions in harmony with your body. This “poisonous” zodiac sign will be especially vulnerable and excited in 2019-2020. That is why you should refrain from scandals, quarrels and divorces. On the other hand, the year is very successful for making money, and therefore it is best to direct your energy to improving your financial condition.

For women:

Like men, Scorpio women in 2019-2020 They will be real “hysterics”. Ladies should very skillfully hide their real emotions and feelings so as not to spoil their relationships with everyone around them. The year promises many romantic and love encounters, which in turn does not interfere with Scorpio’s existing marriage.

In verse:

Scorpios are good:
Lots of money and soul!
The horoscope tells the sign
Just cry with happiness!

In the year 2020 to all Scorpios,
A lot of changes are coming:
In work, relationships and at home.
Try to avoid problems!

Scorpios urgently need
Lots of exciting changes.
Horoscope wishes friendship
Solve your problems!

For life to be successful,
Scorpios, try your best.
Horoscope wishes: tenderly
Smile at problems!

2020 is knocking on your door,
His time has now come.
Now good things will happen
Happy New Year with Scorpio!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Sagittarius men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Sagittarius men “risk” being lucky in the new year and happy, they have every chance for this. The main thing is not to lose your luck on the way to happiness. In the professional and personal spheres, everything will be very smooth and quite “even” - without losses and disappointments. Smile more at the world around you and everything will be fine!

For women:

Sagittarius women should definitely“catch luck by the tail”, and then hide it in yourself and not let it go. If ladies make an effort in the year of the Rat, they will definitely gain recognition, find true love and climb the career ladder high, high.

In verse:

“Let Sagittarius live well” -
Astrological forecast advises.
Let them rest body and soul,
Let them not shed hot tears in vain!

Heaven wishes for a Sagittarius man
Be a true champion of the ladies.
Let life not hit you in the face with a glove,
Give way to dreams and deeds!

Let Sagittarius' dreams come true,
Let your wishes come true!
Astrologers wish Sagittarius beauty,
Good luck, joy, love charm!

Sagittarians are the favorites of luck,
Let it be this way and not otherwise!
And the New Year will give into winter
To them happiness and happy love!

The stars predicted joy
A gift for all Sagittarius.
Life will be like sweetness for them,
Every day is cheerful and bright!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Capricorn men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

In the new year, Capricorn men should finally understand what they want in their life: love, family or a big career leap. Unfortunately, you won’t be able to get everything at once, and therefore all your efforts should be directed in only one direction. The year is good for searching for yourself, muse and space. However, if you fly too far, you risk losing touch with reality, that is, ruining your relationships with others.

For women:

Capricorn women will become real muses for their men, admirers and admirers. The year promises ladies to be filled with beauty, harmony and purity. Each representative of this zodiac sign “risks” falling in love completely by accident and very deeply. IN financially, Capricorns will be very vulnerable and wasteful.

In verse:

In the year 2020 Capricorns
The stars wish to be themselves,
Along your life paths
Walk with a happy destiny!

Lucky all Capricorns
Good comes to their house
Happy New Year,
There will be no trouble!

Luck and prosperity is knocking,
To the homes of all Capricorns in the New Year.
Let a good fairy tale happen
Dreams will not be a sweet dream!

Astrologers wish you harmony,
Find strength and love within yourself.
The year for Capricorns promises to be calm,
And the feelings will excite the blood!

Capricorns are incredibly lucky
The year will be pleasant and happy.
Men's pockets will be full,
Well, the women will turn out to be beautiful!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Aquarius men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

The New Year will be very calm for Aquarius men and measured. Practically, not a single event can disturb the peace of mind of men and prevent them from achieving their desired goals. In the personal life of Aquarius, there is an abundance of romantic meetings, tender feelings and only pleasant changes.

For women:

Women of this zodiac sign are quite frivolous., but at the same time romantic and dreamy. The Year of the Rat promises them an abundance of love affairs and only positive changes. But, at the same time, you should not “drown in the abyss of your dreams,” so as not to lose touch with reality.

In verse:

Aquarians will feel
Have fun, wait and believe,
What in their life is like in a fairy tale
Happiness will knock on the door!

For Aquarius, New Year is a favorite holiday,
He gives them the warmth of loved ones.
Astrologers promise you only joy,
Luck - it will just walk through your door!

Astrological predictions
They wish Aquarius to be wiser,
Make decisions with a smile in your heart,
May your dreams come true as soon as possible!

Horoscope wishes for Aquarius
A lot of bright, love joys,
So that the love in the soul does not fade away,
And my soul was as light as snow!

Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Pisces men and women for 2019-2020

For men:

Pisces men will “swim calmly” all year round with the flow” and float past problems, failures and disappointments. This year, the strong half of humanity will definitely meet “their fish” and find family happiness. In the year of the Rat, don’t expect any strong “career ups”, but this is far from bad.

For women:

The main thing for Pisces women in the year of the Rat is not to look stupid and do not create too negative an impression of yourself. Be active and cheerful, laugh in the face of failures and problems. In your personal life, the year promises positive changes, for example, a new lover or a marriage proposal!

In verse:

Let Pisces sail to their luck
Happy new colorful year!
Let difficult problems be solved,
And life will not throw Pisces into the frying pan!

Pisces are very silent
Pisces love silence.
Wishes for the New Year to Pisces
Horoscope “to catch your dream”!

So that Pisces have fun and joy,
Astrologers foretell them:
Relax, eat sweets,
The stars foretell love for you!

Video: “Comic Horoscope for 2020 for friends”